What is it called when you want to cry but you don’t have any tears left?
What do you do when that feeling sits so deep within your chest?
You can’t run. You can’t hide. At least not from something that is inside of you.
You know how you have a favorite book? Or a favorite tv series? Or movie? Let’s call this situation one of your favorites. From beginning to end you know how it starts, what takes place in the middle and how it ends. Line for line. Play by play. You can easily act out everything.
Just because it’s a favorite…doesn’t mean you have to watch it again. Or pick it back up. You already know how it ends. (If you’re like me and your favorite movie is Titanic, we saw how that ends. Tears.) and just like that movie, this situation brings about more tears, more confusion and disbelief that this is really where you are now.
I give so much advice to friends about things but I need to be taking that advice my damn self. Compartmentalize, I told myself. Keep that situation in a box, I said. Yea. Right. That worked until well…it didn’t. We always tell ourselves we can handle anything until it’s time to handle anything. Crazy how life will really test a theory you put into the atmosphere.
I say all of this to say…well….I don’t know. I’m still figuring out how I feel. I do love this blog and consider it a safe space to empty my thoughts. I consider it so safe that if you want to reach out and share with me as well, that’s cool. I don’t have all the answers and I don’t pretend to. But we should always be able to come together and maybe find the answers that way. Or also be confused together. Whatever works in that space and time.
Until next time, may you continue to live in love, light and transparency ❤️