S%*^ Happens

I hate change. I understand that it is a necessary part of life. I accept it BUT I still hate it. Whether it’s major or minor, any type of change exasperates my soul. What I am about to share with you has completely changed the trajectory of my whole world. You may have to fill in the blanks (or not) but I will be as transparent as I can be with the situation. After all, I know on one of these blogs I said I would be that way for my readers. However, there are some things I will choose to leave out of this one.

I made a terrible mistake.

Yup. Me and all of my human flesh made a pretty terrible mistake. An awful mistake. I have never tried to make myself seem like I was perfect or even close to it. That being said, I legit f**ked up. Now that I know I was wrong, in so many ways and on so many different levels, I have to somehow fix what I messed up. We have all encountered an issue in life that just felt like it was far beyond repair. This is that one for me. So…what do you do when you don’t know what to do?

Admitting when you were wrong can be a grueling task. You have been faced with finding out you were wrong, then you have to sit with that and THEN admit it? Yeah, that’s a lot. Kudos to anyone who has been strong enough to get to that stage in the mistake process. This has been the toughest part. A full admittance of guilt. I have had to come to the realization that not only have made my own life tough, but others also. Everyone involved deserves a full explanation, those directly affected anyways. That is what I have done. After doing that, you don’t get to regulate how someone deals with the information. You just have to move forward. Which, honestly, is always easier said than done. It has been some weeks since I had to step forward and face the ugly fact that I was wrong. Honestly, it has taken me weeks to be able to come back to finish this post because I had grown fearful of sharing this with you all. I am constantly having to remind myself that my sole purpose for creating this blog was to share my stories in hopes that someone is pushed, motivated or inspired in some sort of way by me sharing my truth. Good people make mistakes. In order to move forward you have to admit you were wrong, apologize, make the correction and just don’t make the same mistake again. And if you do..repeat the above steps until you get it right.

Life has been pretty hectic and I am so excited to share more of what’s been happening! In order to find out though, you’ll just have to wait and seeeeee. Until next time lovelies! Thank you for your continued support and I hope you’ll subscribe and share me with a friend!

Sometimes this is just how I feel.

We don’t have control over everything. We can only control what we can control. Same thing goes for people. It’s like when you raise a child. You raise them with love, values, morals and wisdom in hopes that they don’t stray from all of your life lessons. Do we really have control in the long term? Absolutely not. You are allowed to feel angry, hurt, and upset. What you shouldn’t do is hold on to that anger for too long. Take it from a person who has held on to her own for way too long…

If you’re new to this blog, I’ll fill you in. I wasn’t pregnant for 29 years of my life. The last 5 of those I spent going back and forth with someone I shouldn’t have. I end up getting pregnant by this person and *cues anger* fast forward to now, I have an immense amount of anger I need to let go of. The emotion itself isn’t what is bad. It’s how you let it affect and how you choose to deal with it. I had forgiven this person for what they did during my pregnancy. Even after my child was born I told myself I would extend some grace. Now, new things have surfaced that have caused me to revert to many of the same feelings I previously had. It is not ok. Anger is at the top of the list. That anger is for my baby girl. Things haven’t been fair for her, on his part, and I am quite sick of it.

If you ask him he might say he is doing his best. Well ya know, sometimes a person’s best ain’t at their best. And it isn’t enough. Not when you see them doing exceedingly above and beyond in other situations. So…your best is a mediocre version of your actual best? Nah. That’s why I’m angry.

I know I have more healing to do. I am doing everything in my power to be completely healed. To take my power back. To be sitting at the top of a mountain and being able to scream I’M FREE at the top of my lungs. I am going to take my time, but I won’t take forever. I got some freedom to indulge in.

As always, thank you for coming to read my thoughts. I can only hope that which each post someone is inspired to share or is motivated to make a change of their own. Feel free to comment, like or share. Sending love and light your way.

Oh, what a year.

These last 3 months have been something like a dream. Or one of those movies that you watch and think “that would never happen to me” but real life is where movies actually get their inspiration, not the other way around. I am writing this today because I recently spent time around someone I hadn’t spent time with in a while and it. was. draining. Emotionally. You ever be around a person and it feels like their energy is literally pulling from yours. The worst part is..I’m not speaking of it in a bad context. This person honestly makes you feel good to be around but once they are away you feel like you have to go plug yourself into a wall somewhere and recharge. It shows me that I have come far but still have a long way to go.
When I started this blog, I was pregnant and experiencing so much in my life. I had to take a break my from my career as a dancer, the anticipation of being a single mom was knocking at the door of my anxiety and I was going thru the biggest spiritual shift of my life. I wanted a platform, no matter the size, to get my story told for someone who may be afraid to share theirs. So many individuals could be experiencing what you are and need to hear your story and just how you got thru it or how you are getting thru it now. It’s ok to share what the center of the storm is like while you are walking thru it. I love that I am able to be fully transparent with my readers with no judgement (some of you might be judging but *shoulder shrug* oh well).
As we near the end of a decade and make our way into a new one, I never would’ve imagined the growth, the love and the child that I am bringing into it with me. Leilani has caused me to do some serious self-reflecting because I want her existence to be one that is full of pure joy. I never thought it would make sense for me to have her without doing some excavating of all of the things that I considered made me look less than. Our society can be so consumed with looking good on the outside. What about your heart? Your relationship with God? (or whoever you believe in) The relationships you have with your family or friends turned family?
2019 was a year of so many things. A year of unlearning, aligning myself with what I would like my new core values to be, forgiveness and allowing myself to feel whatever emotions I experienced instead of tossing them to the side. I also spent the majority of the year pregnant and man…it was such a complete shift in my lifestyle. There were times where I cried because I felt like I was missing out on everything. Not just fun things but dance related things. Gigs, shows..you name it, I missed it. That time did give me the chance to be in the audience and support my loved ones who were still doing great things.
There was so much that I felt I had to unlearn and not because my mother did a horrible job raising me. I am most definite that she did the absolute best with everything she had. There was just a lot that I’ve noticed and learned as an adult that I would like to change for my own child as she grows and learns about the world around her. Some of it is not necessarily a “generational curse” breaking type of thing. I am just choosing to no longer do or be involved in behavior that I feel isn’t helpful towards myself or my daughter becoming a better human being.

FORGIVENESS (whew)

This one here. This took so much out of me but replaced that energy with something even greater. We have to learn to forgive. It is not only helpful to us here on Earth as we navigate thru life but it is also helpful for your soul. God commands that we do so or He will not extend that grace to us. I literally had to buy a whole book on forgiveness and when I tell you I have never felt more free in my life. I knew that forgiving those that have harmed me, forgiving myself and asking God for forgiveness would set me free from all the pain that I was experiencing. Now, don’t get it twisted. Forgiveness is a constant behavior that we must practice DAILY. Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. You are only hurting yourself and the other person is walking around living their best life while you are sitting bitter and upset. It is not worth it. I thank God that I was finally able to truly forgive those that I needed to.

2019 definitely taught me more about myself. While I still have so much more to learn as I also learn about Baby Lei, I am forever open to the endless possibilities that God will place into my world. I feel like I fell behind in tons of my work, especially with Hearts in Motion, but I will be coming back in the new year to continue on with my dream. Leilani has changed the trajectory of so much, 2020 and on has to be it.
I hope that whatever changes you had to make in 2019 carry on to 2020 and beyond. Remember, you are beautifully and wonderfully made because God created you extra special with a dash of awesomeness. May your new decade of life be one filled with love, light, happiness and success. See you next year! And as always, feel free to like/share/comment this or any of my blog posts.

May your world always be filled with light as you travel throughout life.

Things NO ONE tells you

Hey ya’ll! ok…so I feel that I need to comprise a list of things that nobody decides to tell you about once your baby arrives. After having these things happen to me, I really want to share them with you guys, whether you plan on having a child, already have one or just need a good laugh. And this is shit that happens almost everyday. I’m always alone when it happens so no one else gets to get in on this stuff. Some of it has been serious “WTF, why would no one share that” moments. Here is what people are afraid to share…not me though.

No matter how hard you try you will hit your baby’s head on the roof of the car putting them in the car seat. And obviously not knock them out hard but a baby ain’t always perfectly still when you’re putting them in there so there have been a few “Oops, my bad baby” apologies happen. Now, I go ahead and already have her in the car seat so I don’t have to worry about that transfer. Don’t look at me like that…you know that happened to you at least once.

Baby acne. This one really had me gone. You bring home this beautiful baby that possesses skin many of us are paying money to have then BOOM. One morning you wake up and notice small bumps on the face of your little one. I do my best NOT to run to Google for stuff (the internet will have you thinking the worst) however, I had to go online to see what this was about. Sure enough, it’s a thing. Apparently, it has to do with hormones from mom (insert some science, genetic stuff) and it goes away at some point. I was terrified that I did something wrong. Whew.

Scheduling. I read some articles that talked about how to schedule a baby’s sleep time. What those articles didn’t say was that what they were saying is BS. You are on the schedule of the newborn until further notice. At first, I was driving myself crazy with trying to stay on a schedule with her feedings and sleeping. Finally, I gave in to the schedule she created and things have been going a whole lot smoother than before. Not only that, we are on a schedule without ACTUALLY having to create one. It works for now and if it needs to be tweeked, I should be able to. I say should but who knows. I’m not forcing anything anymore.

Sleep when the baby sleeps. This is the most nonsense I’ve heard since having her. So…you’re telling me that after being up with her feeding, changing diapers, tummy time, feeding again and putting her down for a nap I am supposed to then sleep? When do I get to eat, go pee, brush my teeth, shower….you see where I’m going with this. That shit is unrealistic for me and if it has worked for any other moms out there, please, share your story so I can know how you did it. I have instead decided to use my village privilege and schedule naps/chores. It’s the only way I can truly get stuff done. Sleep when the baby sle….puh-lease.

These are just a few things. If you are a mom or close with one, you know this list is way more extensive in real life. We ain’t out here being Instagram worthy 24/7. I am not afraid to admit it. I wish everyone could just go ahead and keep it real about stuff like this. Go ahead, comment and share with me something YOU found out that no one told you.

Thank you for taking the time to stop by and read my blog. Check out some of my other blogs posts while you’re here. Always sending much love, light + happiness to you and yours.

Believe me when I say…

this will be my first and ONLY child. I know what some of you might be thinking. “Oh, Loren. You’re just saying that. You may meet a man that you will fall so in love with” blazay blazay blah.

Since before I gave birth I knew that Leilani would be my first and last child. Pregnancy was just too much for me. I feel damn near traumatized from labor/giving birth. Now, figuring out life with a newborn (I assume I’m doing well since she smiles and is still breathing) but MAN this phase is tough.
There is literally nothing about any of those phases that makes me want to do this again. I know, I haven’t experienced the other bigillion things that make being a mother so awesome. But I know that after what has already taken place..DIS IT. I’m not sure why people think a change your mind fairy is going to wave his wand and change how I feel.
That isn’t even half of why I know this is my only child. Keep reading, you’ll hopefully understand why or at least feel where I’m coming from. That whole man changing my mind thing, that I hear far too often, is crazy. Any man that I date from this point forward is going to have to 1. have his own kids or 2. be fine with adopting. But a child from this body?!?! Nope. Now, let me dig deeper into this for those of you that think I’m just talking out of the side of my neck.

MONEY

I haven’t had to shell out thousands by this point. I’m thankful to have had so many people decide to shower my princess with everything that she needs. I haven’t had to buy diapers but I have had to purchase formula for when I supplement. That shit ain’t cheap. I couldn’t imagine having to buy that all the time. Then, I start thinking about all of the expenses as she gets older. Food, extra-curricular activities, babysitters, fun..it’s a no for me in doubling that expense. Which leads me to telling you why I FOR SURE am not having another child.

My Career

I am a dancing artist. When I was pregnant and weeks after delivery, I had to give my career a break. My income took a major hit during these months. Not only that, there were so many opportunities that I was unable to be part of. So many. I know that I wouldn’t be able to take another big break like that. No dancing means a portion of my income is gone. I would be lying if I said the transition was easy. I am just really getting back into working after being off for so long. Le’ struggle has been real.

My Lih Body

I have previously mentioned all that the body goes thru when creating a human. With that description in mind (check my previous post,) getting back into dancing has been difficult. My body doesn’t move like it once did and figuring out how to now move with my current body has been a challenge. I know that my body may never move like it once did and I have to adjust to how it is now. Experiencing another drastic, physical change would not benefit me in any way.

Age

I am 30 years old. I’m not old, don’t get it twisted. But I ain’t exactly no spring chicken. Having a child at this age isn’t uncommon for the times that we are living in. In fact, women are having children much later in their lives. I didn’t plan on having my child but now that I have had one at my age, I know this is it. I’ll be 50 when my daughter is 20. I’m good.

I could go on and on but you get where I’m coming from. There are people in life who want to have more than one child and there are people like me who are completely fine with the one they have. Please, believe me when I say I am not having another child. I was an only child. Leilani will do just fine.

Feel free to comment or share! I love your feedback and opinions on the topics I choose to blog. Your support is always appreciated.

I am NOT a monster

I have been having an extremely difficult time getting to this laptop to create. Then, I struggled with what to even share with all of you so that kept me away even longer. It wasn’t until last night when I ran into someone and they told me that they thought me sharing my journey thru pregnancy and motherhood was beautiful. Also, that I’ve probably helped more people than I may realize or even intended to. Being open with things helps me deal with them. As open as I have been wanting to be about my current place in life…finding the words to share has been a challenge. Being a mom has been the most challenging thing I’ve ever had to do in my life. If you would’ve told me a year ago that I would have a daughter today, my exact response minus the facial expression, “You play too much. Hush.” So today, I am choosing to share some of my struggles with being a mom. It has many rewards but I think that society can make us feel like monsters for feeling certain things and I am here to tell you, THOSE FEELINGS ARE VALID AND WE ARE NOT MONSTERS. We are human beings with normal emotions like anyone else.

Missing My Life Pre-baby.

This one definitely sits at the top of my list. You are allowed to miss what life was BEFORE baby arrived. I literally went from being able to randomly go out of town to having to schedule when I’m going to take a shower. THAT is a complete culture shock. I am one of the most spontaneous people I know in life and with a baby things just can’t be that way. There would be days where I would I just go and get a drink at a bar, go to the park to create, hit the gym, go out to eat…I have always been able to do things alone and now I have a little one that will scream like a banshee if I walk away for more than 10 minutes. You are not selfish for missing those things. You can be thankful for your child and also miss what life used to be before they arrived.

Dis Body.

Maaaaaannnn….I honestly feel like I could write a book on the pain I’ve been experiencing since giving birth. Yes, I know. It took 9 months to create this human. In that time, the trauma that both my insides and outsides took was extensive. Then BOOM. You got a baby in your arms and your insides feel like a hurricane just ripped right thru you. I imagine inside it looks like a pot of gumbo. Organs just all misplaced, floating around. And what’s even worse? People expect you to be brand new after 6 weeks. 6 weeks?!?!? You expect me to feel normal and better in 6 weeks? THEN to top that, I’ve had a family get a whole attitude with me when I told her I was still in pain. She literal tried to justify this by saying I had a vaginal birth, so I’m alright. Ya’ll…the look on my face. I’m not sure who conditioned women to have these thoughts about what your body would be like after childbirth or what’s expected of you but know this: It took 9 months for this to happen. It sure as hell will take that amount of time and maybe longer to get back to even a remotely normal physical place. Inside and out. You can miss your pre-baby body, girl. I sure as hell miss mine.

Dancin Mama.

Before Lei was conceived, I was a dancing machine. Literally. Dance had been my whole entire world prior to pregnancy. I performed right up to my 5-6 month of pregnancy and taught up until my last trimester. Fast forward, baby arrives and 2 weeks later I am at some auditions. Was this wise for my body? Nope. Not at all. Do I feel 100% physically, now? Also no. I got to see another dancin mama last night and she says “Don’t worry, your core will return eventually.” BRUH. My pelvic floor, core, knees, back…errthang is SHOT. This mama just wants to be able to move again like she once did. Long gone are the days were I could try something without fear of what I would feel like the next morning. There is that and then finding someone I trust to watch baby girl while I rehearse or have a performance. Needless to say, she has been to some rehearsals with me and that will more than likely be her life for quite some time. Mama gotta do what she gotta do. I want my daughter to see and know that she doesn’t have to give up on her path just because her circumstances have changed. My life went from being a solo to a forever duet. It will take some more adjusting but trust me, the show ain’t over.

Emotions.

If I thought my psychological state was sensitive during pregnancy, I surely wasn’t prepared for how it would be during the postpartum stage. I have moments where I get so overwhelmed about things I probably shouldn’t be allowing to get to me. That on top of what is already causing me to be anxious are not helpful: Crying baby, juggling when I will shower, taking time to eat actual food, walking the dog so she doesn’t do her business in the house…WHEW. I got sweaty just thinking about how each day goes while I’m at home. At times I think “what on earth did I get myself into,” this can weigh heavily on a person sometimes. Support for moms of newborns is so necessary because you can feel like you are losing it at moments. I have God, my beautiful circle of sisters and therapy to keep my sanity in check. And of course, my baby girl is the top reason I know I have to keep my emotions in line. However, it doesn’t mean to ignore them completely. Taking care of yourself is important to be able to take care of your little one.

Motherhood changes everything.

WE are not monsters for feeling how we may feel after giving birth. Your life does a complete 180 degrees. Especially if you are a first time mom. Out of all of the books I’ve read, great advice I’ve been given…one thing that has stuck with me be kind to yourself during this time. Your baby will love you unconditionally no matter what. Give your child the love and care they will need to grow into an amazing human being. And when it gets rough, take some time to yourself even if only 10 minutes out of the day. It’s ok. You are NOT a monster for doing so.

Don’t be afraid to share, comment or follow my blog! Your support has been will forever be appreciated.

Birthing Leilani

“There is power that comes to women when they give birth. They don’t ask for it, it simply invades them. Accumulates like clouds on the horizon and passes through, carrying the child with it.”
-Sheryl Feldman

My baby girl is here! And let me tell you..it has taken weeks to get to this laptop and create this blog post to share my birthing experience with all of you. On September 13, 2019, not only was Leilani born, a newer version of myself was born also..

I’ll start from early labor

My 39 week appointment was scheduled for September 11, 2019. The nurse asked if I would like to have cervix checked for dilation. My midwife, Kathleen, told me that checking may or may not encourage labor. My response? “Hell to the yes! After checking, she tells me I am slightly effaced (cervix is thin) and probably about a couple of centimeters dilated. In all honesty, I was hoping this check got things going and SOON. I had been doing things on my own at home and none of it seemed to be working. I was over being pregnant you guys. So tired. Anyways, my appointment was at noon. I came home and proceeded to go on about my normal business.

I was at home watching tv when…

around 5pm I began having contractions. They were happening at irregular intervals and weren’t painful so I decided to hold off on calling my support and midwife. It was between 11pm and midnight when things started to get more intense. The contractions were happening at more regular intervals, 10 minutes apart. I decided to give the heads up to my support and a few of my girlfriends. (Mind you, these things feel like I’m dying and coming back to life every 10 minutes and I was alone.) Contractions were about 7-9 minutes apart after midnight, so I decided to go ahead and call Kathleen. She instructed that I just do what I can to make myself comfortable and give her a call in the morning. She also told me that if anything drastic took place to go ahead and call back right away. (She called it y’all. This baby was coming after that appointment lol) I went to the bathroom and noticed I lost some of my mucus plug and all I was thinking was, “Oh shit. I’m really going to have this baby soon.”

My mom was off at 7am and got to the house around 8am. Tasha got to the house around 9am and Mrs. Ann got here a little after her. That morning I got zero sleep. From midnight to when they got here..whew, it was tough. The exercise ball and being on all 4s really helped me most during the contractions. That, along with focusing on my breath (Thanks Joana). Experiencing the beginning of it alone wasn’t ideal, but with God and my friends checking on me, I made it to the morning. We called Kathleen when my contractions were about 5 minutes apart. She told me to go ahead and come in at noon. By noon, I was ready to go. We get to the birth center and now the only thing left to do is wait.

“My dream is that every woman, everywhere, will know the joy of a truly safe, comfortable, and satisfying birthing for herself and her baby.”

Oh, what a wait it was. Baby Lei decided she was going to take 40 hours to get here. I was hitting 5cm and sitting, 7cm and sitting…just crawling up to 10cm slowly. I was expecting to deliver her in the tub but that didn’t happen. My cervix never fully effaced so it had to be moved out of the way to deliver her. She was adamant about sitting inside of me lol. The physical pain of labor was like nothing I’ve ever experienced and will ever experience again. At some point, I know the energy was coming from nobody but God because I just didn’t have it in me to keep going. I almost wanted to give up and go to the hospital multiple times. But I remembered, I gave myself the task of delivering this baby naturally and that’s what was going to happen. It was tough, extremely tough. My support was so helpful. Right up until the minute she left, Mrs. Ann was making sure that I was good and had everything I needed. My mom, was there for the whole duration. And Tasha, my sister, she was such a help to me. She is a whole school teacher (she missed work for me and Lei ya’ll) but never left my side. Towards the end when I wanted to give UP, she didn’t let me. I am forever thankful for the love and care from all 3 of them during my labor and birth.

Overall, my experience at North Houston Birth Center with Kathleen and her amazing team of women was priceless. Each visit was in-depth and we discussed just about everything you can think of when it comes to pregnancy and birth. Kathleen was always very honest with me and I appreciate that so much. Joana, who was the on site doula, is so sweet and I still keep in contact with her. Her classes were amazing and extremely helpful. Was giving birth the most difficult thing I’ve ever done physically AND mentally? Yes. Would I trade the experience? Absolutely not.

“A miracle is really the only way to describe motherhood and giving birth. It’s unbelievable how God has made us women and babies to endure and be able to do so much. A miracle, indeed. Such an incredible blessing.”
– Jennie Finch

When someone shows you they are…

I recently was listening to Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations, a podcast available on Spotify, and it was her Best Lifesaving Lessons episode. It began with her reflecting on one of the many life lessons she learned with her mentor, Maya Angelou.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them the FIRST time.

Far too many times have we been on the side where we allowed someone to show us who they were but chose to stay and not believe them. We stayed with hopes that ONE DAY they would be different. ONE DAY they would see how much you love them and change for you. Next moment, you look up and realize you’ve been waiting years for one day that never came. And who do we blame? The other person. “She knew she didn’t want me, why would she waste my time,” “If he knew he couldn’t be faithful, why would he commit to me?” It’s easier to place the blame on others when we’ve been hurt by them but the truth of the matter is, YOU had every opportunity to prevent this heartache from happening but you didn’t believe who they told you they were.

Take a look at my story with this very topic. (Real names are being left out because I am choosing to be kind.)

I met a guy a little over 5 years ago who completely sweeped me off of my feet. Not in a love way, but in a “Oh My Gosh this man is so hot and I want his body” type of way. We exchanged information and it was honestly a roller coaster after that. I had never, in my adult years, been with a man who made me feel like I was the only woman in the room. It was the most exhilarating, spontaneous, titillating and enchanting romance. Behind all of that spellbinding energy, was a person who kept many secrets, told lies and was selfish without even realizing how selfish he was. I knew this because he told me in more ways than one. I, however, made the choice to continue forward with the thought that if I continue to love on him that it would change those negative characteristics. I went into this not even wanting anything other than a physical relationship but after the time spent, the intimacy…it was everything that said he wanted me to be his woman. See…I am an action person. And all of his actions pointed to what I wanted to see but at the same time they pointed to what I needed to see but didn’t want to. Confusing right?

Time passes and I slowly begin to learn the truth about many things. He had a relationship that I was unaware of, well…I had no proof. He had a relationship with the mother of his child and that…chile, that was the strangest co-parenting relationship I’ve ever witnessed. What did this crash dummy do even in the midst of all these revelations? I stayed. I really thought that even with all his baggage that he would have room for me, even after being told he didn’t. He didn’t even have room to make room. (I’ll spare more you more of the story because this is a blog, not a novel.) Fast forward to August 2019 and I am pregnant with (yup, you guessed it) his child.

Did I learn my lesson? You bet your lucky bottom I did…just not soon enough. The only thing I regret from that lesson is that I didn’t learn it immediately. Believing him the first time, would have saved me a lot of heartache. I was so attached to my own idea of what he could be that I didn’t take the time to see who he was, even AFTER he told me a trillion times. I am thankful, super thankful for my bundle of blessing and the lessons I learned from him. I don’t need to be hit in the head repetitively anymore FOR A WHILE.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them the FIRST time.

Maya Angelou

The Truth of My Life

If you’re reading this…

Stop wasting time because you have a limited amount of time to do what you have to do. Make the DECISION to step into the truth of your life.

— Oprah.

In my life, I’ve learned that people will appreciate you more for simply being who you are. There are way too many of us trying to duplicate things that have already been done. The world will love you more for who you ALREADY ARE. It took me years to realize that. Honesty begins within. The moment you are able to be honest with yourself, it will make your connections with other human beings more genuine and allow for more true connections to take place.

Becoming pregnant is initially what sparked my interest in creating a blog. I had been receiving so many comments on my level of transparency during this time, that I decided to go ahead and create a platform where I can continue to share my truth with a broader audience. This blog will cover my experiences as a pregnant professional dancer, a first time mom, a single mom and so much more. You will learn my story and become part of my world and I am so excited to allow you in. I may not be the conventional blogger and that is completely fine with me.

I won’t hold back! I can only hope that me sharing my story will inspire someone out there to know that being true to your story is what will help you grow, no matter how many flaws your story has.

Welcome to Life with Loren Marie!

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Introducing…

Loren Marie.

When I moved to Houston about 12 years ago, I came here with 0 intention. I know, you probably weren’t expecting me to say that. But it’s true. I did not have any idea of what I wanted to do or who I wanted to become. I was really unsure of my true purpose in life.

I grew up dancing but didn’t pursue it as a career until a little over 5 years ago. I also began teaching around that time. I originally went to Texas Southern University but soon realized that was not what I was passionate about. Dance was my true passion. It was always dance and out of fear, I chose not to do what I was destined to do. In 2012, I attended Houston Community College where my life would soon be changed forever. I received my Associates degree and have had such an amazing career in dance from being a company member travelling and performing to working with youth everywhere to give them everything that I’ve acquired over the years in the professional dance world.

In 2019, my career and life took a major shift. I FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT. As a dancer who did not have a baby in future plans, this hit me pretty hard. It is also the same reason I decided to create this blog. There are so many women who need to know that there are others in the world that understand what they are going thru.

I am women. She is me. This blog will cover topics like pregnancy along with:

  • Being a first time mommy
  • The transition of a dancer into pregnancy and motherhood
  • Relationships (family, friends and everything in between)
  • Product reviews
  • …and more

If you are interested in a collaboration, do not hesitate to contact me via email. You can also find me on Instagram and Facebook. I will be creating a Twitter account soon and will let you all know when it is posted and ready to tweet!