I have been single, technically, for well over 2 years. Over the last 5-6 years I was involved with someone. We were basically dating (he just didn’t want to admit that) and throughout that time I pretty much only involved myself with him. Fast forward to today and I am a single mom who is terrified of getting back on the dating scene.
There are multiple reasons why…
As I said previously, I was super wrapped up in this last guy. Ok..not my exact words but I was definitely tangled in him. We did not end on the best of terms and a lot of emotional damage was done. A TON. After that, I vowed to just focus on healing and making sure my child and I had everything we needed. With everything my heart had been thru, I was not even the least bit concerned with dating. Add a baby on top of that and men haven’t even had a chance to flirt with me let alone I actually talk to someone as a love interest. Nope. No way. Not happening. I fail to mention the pandemic that has caused social distancing to become the new norm. How in thee hell am I supposed to meet people when I’m too nervous or scared to allow anyone to get 12 feet from me. (6 feet isn’t enough.)
Healing. A baby. Career goals. Spiritual goals. A pandemic.
Who has time to date?!?!
As I’ve asked myself that question, I still wonder how to approach dating now that I have a child. Am I even dateable while she is this young? Should I wait? How long do I wait, if I wait? I’ve been back and forth. And you can’t trust people like that so do I date someone I should’ve given a chance years ago or start fresh? Y’all. It makes my head hurt when I think about it. I don’t want to be single forever and I know that God has created this hunk of a man I’ve been praying for. But my behind is going to miss out on him with this fear of dating I have. I have learned from previous failed situationships and my standards have definitely changed when it comes to men. No, I don’t require that they make x amount of dollars a year or drive a particular vehicle. All of that is materialistic and if you know me, you know I could give an ish about any of that stuff. You can’t be out here broke but y’all get what I’m saying. I’m more interested in where his mind is, how does he tend to his mental health, does he care for his spiritual self and is he working towards a bigger goal in his life.
Being a single mama and thinking of dating is scary. My constant prayer is that God send me exactly who He knows I need. I pray daily for my future husband, but sometimes what I think I need and what I actually need are two different things so…God just fills in the gaps for me. Everything works out the way it’s supposed to. It always does. I’ll just keep being awesome out here in the mean time…